For the Brokenhearted and Bound

Freedom requires an intense and unadulterated trust in the One who frees. Without such trust, there will be no lasting freedom. Both heart and mind will return to bondage, simply because there is nothing else reliable to hold to. The truest test of trust is in the strength the bondage holds over you.

So to those who need such release from whatever or whoever is holding you back: trust, and be free.

Boiling Point

"Keep at boiling point by the Holy Spirit"

Romans 12:8 (as translated by Harrington Lees)

This kept my attention as I read the class handout about leadership. I'm sure that I read the rest, but I really am not sure what it all said. This statement grabbed me and kept its grip on me much longer than I anticipated. I mulled it over as I read it, thought about it in the shower, contemplated just before I closed my eyes, and was even awakened by these thought in the middle of the night.

"Keep at boiling point by the Holy Spirit" Romans 12:8

What does that even mean? I thought about the little bit of science that I do understand. Well, not so much that I understand it but deal with it every day thanks to the special Valley Forge stove tops that have two real settings: high and off. When I'm boiling water there seems to be two states: not boiling and steam. I'm sure the boiling part does exist but I seem to miss it every time I need it. This tells me that getting to boiling isn't impossible, and burning out is always close by, but staying at exactly 212 degrees F is difficult. So is the life of a Christian. Easy to get fired up about Christ and easy to burn out from being too fired up (do you remember that parable about the seeds who grew fast....), but great is the task of staying at boiling point.

"Keep at boiling point by the Holy Spirit" Romans 12:8

Not on your own power or strength or determination, but by the Holy Spirit. Water cannot determine to boil. Unlike water, a Christian does have say in determining not to boil, as this illustration goes. This should serve as a reminder to those who are or want to be or are called to be in any kind of position of leadership or authority in the church: it is not ok to fall apart, to burn up, to dry to steam. While there are steps and precautions one can do to help avoid this issue, we are not left to our own ability to do this. As a matter of fact, we are called to NOT do it on our own. It is our responsibility to allow the Holy Spirit to keep us at that point of contentment and freedom, also known as the boiling point.

So the next time you are burned out, weary, exhausted in this journey towards Christ, remember:

"Keep at boiling point by the Holy Spirit" Romans 12:8

Red Toe Nail Polish

I haven't painted my toenails in more than three months. This may sound like something completely trivial and nonsensical to the average person, but this is fairly significant for me. I haven't gone this long without toe nail polish since 7th grade. Heck, I don't think I've gone longer than 24 hours without toenail polish since then. This extended period without color on my toes has not yet relieved me of the distaste and embarrassment I feel when someone stares at my toes, but rather, I feel that this has great significance on a different aspect of who I am.

The last three months, since probably the mid to end of October, something radically different has been evolving in me. Some would say that my college graduation is starting to pay off but I think it's something more than that. I feel like my brain has expanded, that I've finally begun to learn something more than just how to write a ten page pager in a week or what it means to skim a 600 page book in two hours. Or even beyond creating a calendar for our first year in ministry or learning some financial ratios. I feel like the intelligence that has been hiding inside for all these years has finally begun to surface. Like I finally found something worth studying. Something of great significance that also takes the depth of my knowledge and research skills. Something that pairs my love for children with my curiosity about life and God while delving into the practicality about what they all have to do with each other. This semester I will embark on a journey to write a book about the eternal destiny of children who die. Scary and strange and overwhelming, but I'm quite excited.

All of this brings me back to the toenail polish. While I've been obsessed and consumed by this project for the last three months, I've done nothing but process and ponder about the subject at hand. It feels as though I have experienced a growing apathy toward everything but this destiny. This is of great concern to me. I've been around the ever-practical Business Majors and also the absent minded Theology Majors in my time at the Forge. Out of both necessity and challenge, this semester, I will attempt to be both. I will attempt to blog about the depth of the need for my toes to be painted but also actually pain my toenails. I'm excited and terrified for all that this final semester will hold, hopefully beginning with a fresh coat of red toe nail polish.